I sat down with my groceries on the bus and looked up. Sitting at the front of the bus was John. He was talking to himself, rocking a little in his seat and I could smell him from over ten feet away. Most people probably wouldn't pay any attention to him, other than to avoid him. Although John and I are very different, we share an iota of history. We were both in the psychiatric ward at the same time. I was in for bipolar and I can only guess that he was in for either schizophrenia, psychosis, drug addiction or all of the above. We weren't on the same ward, but on the same floor and I would pass him in the hall or see him outside the building smoking. I had seen John around the city for years before I saw him in the psych ward. He would talk to himself and sometimes scream at others. I remember the first time I Saw him in the psych ward - he seemed so "normal." He was cracking jokes with the other patients. He had an accent. He was funny, could think on his feet and seemed to be quite intelligent. I wanted to ask him about his life and his journey. About what made him end up on the streets and how he ended up in the psych ward. But, at that point, I was too fragile. I didn't want to know the answers. You see, as someone with a mental illness, I am always aware of the fine line that I walk between being a "productive member of society" and living on the street. So, I put all that aside and just conversed with John. Now, on the bus, there I was with groceries. I had a home to go to. I am in an intensive academic program. I have friends. I have mnay of the things which people take for granted. I see John sitting there, muttering to himself. Once again, I wish to go up and talk to him. To find out about his journey. I want to know if he is living on the steet again. Maybe he lives in assisted housing. This time, I am in a strong enough place to hear the answers, but for some reason I am held back socially. I felt self conscious about approaching a muttering man on the bus. Also, what if I made him more agitated? If I, a person with mental illness, feels scared, awakward and unsure of approaching another person with mental illness, what does a "normal" person think? What process would they go through? Maybe that person wouldn't even consider approaching John and there would be no dilema. I didn't approach him, but I got off the bus being very thankful for all the support I have in my life. If I didn't have it, would I be in his shoes right now? Probably. Maybe not. All I know is that I battle every day to stay healthy.